This year has been a whirlwind to say the least!
Overall, we have both grown so much individually as well as with each other. We have built our first home in a new city and enjoyed getting to know each other more everyday!
While I know many would scoff at the idea of the things I have learned after only one year of marriage, I thought I would at least share some things I have learned this year about myself as a woman and a wife.
Here they are, the top 20 things I have learned over the past 365 days (in no particular order):
1.Anything followed with “or the highway” is not a good thing (in thought or word, probably subconsciously). The Lord convicted me of this in a big way, it took me a while to let go and realize almost every word out of my mouth should have been followed by that phrase, because, in truth, not many of my "suggestions" were optional.
2.Get in the word together! I wish I could brag that we do this all the time, but honestly, we don’t. I have plenty of excuses why not, but when it comes down to it, nothing is more important than this.
3. Asking him the same question 2543327894 times is not respecting or submitting. {See #1}
4. Make sure your desires for your spouse and future do not become expectations. (Andy Stanley’s iMarriage series is AWESOME!) In expecting things from DJ, there is no joy and/or appreciation when those things do happen. You look at things as "he was supposed to do that" rather than "I am so happy he did that."
5. Oftentimes pride is the driving factor behind an arguement. Stubborness comes under pride, both make apologies especially difficult, trust me.
6. When he asks what he can help me with “I don’t know” is not helpful to either of us when he truly is trying to make my day better.
2.Get in the word together! I wish I could brag that we do this all the time, but honestly, we don’t. I have plenty of excuses why not, but when it comes down to it, nothing is more important than this.
3. Asking him the same question 2543327894 times is not respecting or submitting. {See #1}
4. Make sure your desires for your spouse and future do not become expectations. (Andy Stanley’s iMarriage series is AWESOME!) In expecting things from DJ, there is no joy and/or appreciation when those things do happen. You look at things as "he was supposed to do that" rather than "I am so happy he did that."
5. Oftentimes pride is the driving factor behind an arguement. Stubborness comes under pride, both make apologies especially difficult, trust me.
6. When he asks what he can help me with “I don’t know” is not helpful to either of us when he truly is trying to make my day better.
7. Just because I am tired, doesn’t mean his day was any less tiring than mine
8. I can not tell him how awesome-ly he is my superman often enough! True story, he is wonderful :)
9. Laugh hard and often, its more fun than an ab workout :P
10. Just because you sin differently doesn’t mean one is worse than the other (SO difficult to embrace).
11. Get involved in a church. We love our church home! It is completely dedicated to growing Christian men and women, with an awesome focus on marriages!
12. Don’t let other people tell you what your relationship should look like. Who are they and what do they know?? You're the only two with the inside scoop :)
13. On that same note, do not hesitate to seek out loving and God centered counsel! Another reason I LOVE our church :)
14. Just because someone has been married longer than you, does not mean their advice is valid (“Just wait, you won’t be smiling in 5 years” is not applicable to you or your spouse AT ALL) {Refer them to #2}.
15. Hugs don’t solve problems, but they make almost everything easier to work through, together :)
16. Love is not based on performance, and if it is, its not really love. This is kind of tied to #8, no one likes to fail, but it is 10x harder for DJ when he doesn't succeed than it is for me.
17. We are nothing but blind navigators without the Lord’s guidance. What more is there to say about this? God is God, we are not and should not try to be.
18. Sitting next to each other on the couch doesn't automatically mean its quality time (Is technology present? Be with the person you are with! You love them more than anything else, remember?)
10. Just because you sin differently doesn’t mean one is worse than the other (SO difficult to embrace).
11. Get involved in a church. We love our church home! It is completely dedicated to growing Christian men and women, with an awesome focus on marriages!
12. Don’t let other people tell you what your relationship should look like. Who are they and what do they know?? You're the only two with the inside scoop :)
13. On that same note, do not hesitate to seek out loving and God centered counsel! Another reason I LOVE our church :)
14. Just because someone has been married longer than you, does not mean their advice is valid (“Just wait, you won’t be smiling in 5 years” is not applicable to you or your spouse AT ALL) {Refer them to #2}.
15. Hugs don’t solve problems, but they make almost everything easier to work through, together :)
16. Love is not based on performance, and if it is, its not really love. This is kind of tied to #8, no one likes to fail, but it is 10x harder for DJ when he doesn't succeed than it is for me.
17. We are nothing but blind navigators without the Lord’s guidance. What more is there to say about this? God is God, we are not and should not try to be.
18. Sitting next to each other on the couch doesn't automatically mean its quality time (Is technology present? Be with the person you are with! You love them more than anything else, remember?)
19. Surprises are always fun (We hide sweet notes for each other, and never fail, finding one always brightens my day)
20. Love never fails. As long as this is your common ground, everything will work itself out, no matter how frustrated you are (frustrated may be too sweet of a word to describe the ugliest of arguements, but you get the idea :/...)
In conclusion, I love him more than I know how to put into words, yet crazy as it seems, so much more than I could have even comprehended a year ago. The Lord has challenged us in so many different ways this year, and looking back I would not change any of it. We are truly blessed.
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