Saturday, January 11, 2014

Rejoicing in His Sweet Faithfulness

As I was running tonight, ridding myself of a myriad of stress I had accumulated this past week, I was thinking about the little things we can always find to be thankful for.

I started my 3rd clinical rotation Monday.  It has been pretty intense so far, so much newness to quickly pick up on, new people to adjust to working with, and a whole new documentation system to learn.  However, the actual clinical experience has not been as trying as the 1.5 hour commute that is tacked onto each end of the work day.

So, as I ran, block by block I began to unwind, which let me reflect on the awesome things the Lord has put on my plate that deserve my focus rather than those little inconveniences that are less than ideal and if blown out of proportion could wreak some serious havoc on my attitude. 

This past week I was able to get through an entire Beth Moore book and a half on tape while driving.  Her words directing my thoughts back to scripture helped me stay on track this past week and kept my eyes and heart open to the fact that the commute to this rotation is not just punishment, the Lord plans to and will use that time well.

I have two excellent clinical instructors who are going to teach, challenge, and mentor me, serving to strengthen my ability to work as a physical therapist with each step over the next 3 months.  The department is small and all of the OTs & PTs alike are super patient and helpful, trying to share as much of their knowledge as possible to help direct my next steps so I can avoid the speed bumps and road blocks they encountered.

My husband is super sweet and supportive. He gets off at 1:30 on Fridays and spent this past afternoon doing laundry for me, so I could enjoy my Saturday.  He has constantly asked "What can I do to help" and "What can I do for dinner."  I have been a pill this past week and I know it.  It wasn't intentional, and had I not spent 3 hours listening to uplifting and challenging words everyday, I can't imagine how much worse I would have been. Anxiety about a new situation + adjusting to a new work & sleep schedule did not bode well with me.  Its not an acceptable excuse, but I want to give my husband the credit, praise, and appreciation he deserves for his patience and gracious attitude toward me, because his strength to perservere was undoubtedly from above.

The sun is staying up longer, which I absolutely love.  I am in no way signing myself up for a disorder such as SAD or anything, I know almost everyone prefers sunny days, but I love to at least see the sun everyday and today was one of those days.  When I left the house it was gloomy and drizzling still, by the time I got back, there was a beautiful pink and orange masterpiece in the sky and reflecting off the river.  It was breathtaking and I was once again reminded of the Lord's hand over everything. EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

I am still finishing up Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity on tape and it is speaking volumes into my life and attitude.  I always knew pride was something I struggled with, but never went down the list applying it to my every decision and thought.  Whether I am attempting to mask my insecurities through perfectionism or not even trying things due to fear of failure, it all comes back to pride and my oh so fragile ego. Living humbly in the Lord is my newest goal, which I know I will fail at miserably, but through prayer, petition, and repeated dedication, I am seeking to draw closer to the Lord by tearing that ugly wall of my pride down.

All that being said, the Lord is stretching me like never before and I am doing my best not to resist.  I am starting a journey that I know will not be easy but it will be more worth it than anything I have ever experienced before.