I often struggle with the idea that I can't do everything. This past break it hit me that I can't be super crafty and super mom and super cute and a hardcore athlete and an accomplished professional. And it disappointed me.
It all started with making my own boxwood. I had an urn I picked up at a thrift store and thought a nice big boxwood ball would look awesome on it. It does, and I am pretty proud of my project, but it took me countless hours to complete. By the end, I had sworn off crafting all together (still somewhat in effect). As I sat there gluing little pieces of greenery to a styrofoam ball, burning my fingers, and cursing my 'great idea', I thought about the importance of my time, God's time.
Pinterest doesn't help, but even without it, I still have dreams and unfortunately the more I do, live, and see, the more I realize all of those dreams don't really line up with each other. I want to be an excellent Physical Therapist someday, unfortunately that doesn't go hand in hand with being a stay at home mom, homeschooling our kids, or even my goal of completing a full Ironman race. On top of all of that, I feel like the Lord has put those with special needs on my heart, how does that fit in?
I guess I should have titled this post "I'm growing up." Failure for lack of trying has never been an option. I have always lived with a shoot for the stars mentality and if its not meant to happen, the Lord will close doors and re-direct paths. Its so strange now to reign myself in and admit that if I spread myself too thin, I will not be able to be excellent in any area, and mediocrity is just not good enough.
I know there will be chapters, so I have not completely written any one thing off, and continue to pray I get to by some miracle do everything. I just continue to realize & be reminded that I need to stop and listen for the Lord's timing rather than just plowing ahead, because if I try to do things my way exhaustion, burn-out, & mediocrity will be the result.
All because of a boxwood... which I am super proud of and will devote an entire post to eventually :)